I am the first person to admit that I haven’t always been the best behaved friend. My core group of friends and I have been together for the past 27ish years, and in that time there has been a lot of grace and forgiveness.
After all this time I am truly grateful for the people in my life. In 2014 my father became itt, and I thought my mother’s side of the family could support me during that time. They did not, except of course for my loving Grandmother. But I am grateful for this time in my life because I had forgotten my tribe. I moved upstate in 2011 and the distance separated my mind from my original friend group. I was reunited with my original family, the one I got to choose.
We get a second chance in life to build the family we deserve rather than the one we get saddled with. When I was a child I was not responsible for what happened to me, I relied on the adults in my life and their behavior is not my fault. Friends are the family we have the privilege of picking.
As the holidays come up fast, I am not sad like I have been in the past. I do mourn the loss of those that failed me because I deserve to. Despite the losses, I celebrate the people in my life now that make it wonderful. Small gestures mean the most. Being in the same space working on our respective projects feels good. Coming together in a video call makes me feel connected.
Things I’d like to get back in the habit of:
Writing letters. I’m too late on the holiday card writing, so I think I’m doing a mass email or social media greeting. But writing a letter merits no holiday, I can send one anytime. Which takes the pressure off.
Phone Calls. Scheduling them of course, I’m not a sadist who would spring a random phone call on a friend nowadays. I do take calls on the fly from my best friend though, so I do wonder how it would go over. That might be a special kind of relationship though.
Printing out Photos. Keepsakes are precious and I’d like to start maintaining a photo journal or an album. Probably mostly of my Cat.
There are a lot of things to do to stay connected through the winter season. I’m also taking vitamin D (2,000) and forcing myself to go on walks to combat the seasonal depression. I’m working on my illustration project as well as cooking most of my meals at home.
Inspiration is everywhere, especially in the actions of friends.
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