I’ve been seeing so many articles come up in my news feed lately about “how freelancers fight depression” or “how freelancers are hurting the economy” and “how freelancers brush their teeth” and so on. I guess we are some sort of mysterious group. But I think it’s more that the people interested in these topics aren’t freelancers, it’s the older generation who can’t wrap their head around out lifestyle.
I was at the end of a doctor visit, and the receptionist asked me a bunch of questions. I’m not even sure if she needed to ask these questions or if she was one of these people who is so uncomfortable with themselves they have to fill the silence with their own voice, but when she asked me what I did for a living I said what I always say. “I’m a writer and a graphic designer”. I can guarantee that people of a certain age will always give me a dead stare and then catch themselves into an awkward smile. The non verbal way of saying “that doesn’t sound like a real job”. I usually don’t explain, but since I had to sit there with this person for a little while I picked up the brochure next to me and said “someone needed to sit down and decide what this thing was going to look like.” and then I proceeded to list services I provide to my 150+ clients over the past 6 years I’ve been doing this full time. Polite smile pasted on her face, my internal ‘ugh’ was huge.
But I’m not really interested in impressing people anymore. It’s more about educating prospective clients. And there’s just a certain type of person that I know will never be a client, like receptionist lady.
Certain people will never understand how I define success either. I’ve told this story before: I was just out of college and I got a job as a junior designer in 2006. By 2007 I was earning a decent living, got a new title, and I was planning ahead. Before then I never planned ahead. I didn’t think I’d make it to 30. At the time I didn’t think it was a big deal, but looking back to my grade school years I was severely bullied. It wasn’t something I could do anything about, it was just called ‘life’ back then. I had all kinds of health problems. I remember being around 13 in a doctor's office with my mom, the doctor telling us that if I didn’t receive treatment I’d die before my 30th birthday. My mom was in tears.
Well, in 2008 I was laid off and replaced at the firm by two unpaid interns with no previous experience. I still had my withdrawal card from my old union, so I went back to work part time at a supermarket. I got another part time job in retail. This lasted about 4 years before I just snapped. Although I did like the people I worked with, it just wasn't enough to keep me interested. And I was barely making ends meet. I was spending all my money on the rent, the car insurance, and if I was lucky I’d have maybe a few dollars left at the end of the week.
The one thing I could control was my own body, and since I had no health insurance I was actively trying to redice inflammation in general. I have asthma, and joint problems, so I cut out all the bread, sugar and soda. I started running just two or three days a week, and I built up to running three miles five days a week. Physically I felt much better after doing these changes over the course of three years. I never weighed myself, because for me it wasn't about losing weight. But feeling better. Just in case you're interested, I did go from a size 14 to a size 5, since then I've evened out at a size 8-9 ish depending on the brand. But my life felt like I was just standing still, allowing things to happen to me instead of being an active participant.
My mom invited me to visit her upstate, she had bought a house and wanted me to come see. I apprenticed for an interior decorator in high school, so I think she wanted me to come and show her how to do some things to the house. But I just fell in love with the area. I don’t know if it’s just a romantic notion but the small town and the rolling hills and fresh air did something to me. A year later I was moving from my tiny apartment on Long Island to the Finger Lakes region of upstate New York.
My mom has always been my biggest cheerleader. She’s one of two people who encouraged me to go to college, the other person was NOT my other parent by the way. She paid for my computer equipment I needed for school and to start my own business. She told off my dad when he got mad that I made a mess painting when I was a little kid. Years down the line, when I casually mentioned that I was bullied she was surprised and said I never told her. That’s true, I told my dad and his response was to teach me to throw a punch. Please note, I was an 8 year old girl, and thought I climbed trees and had permanently skinned knees all summer, I was no match to start beating up boys in my grade.
It’s a strange experience when you look back and realize, “nope, that wasn’t right”. I have a lot of moments like that. Not just in school but in crumby jobs where I allowed people to treat me a certain way. Usually those experiences were in retail. I’d much rather scrub toilets, with no gloves, in a tacky uniform than work retail ever again. I’d rather lick parking meters in Manhattan. I’d rather… well I could go on all day with that.
I think what draws people to freelance work is the fact that you are in complete control. If I don’t want to take on new clients, I don’t. I used to rigorously interview clients just to get a feel for their personalities, their businesses and to gauge whether or not they had the money for the project. But I’ve been using Upwork for the past 6 years now. It’s really put my mind at ease and it frees up my time to do actual work instead of chasing invoices. I get to wake up everyday and make things for people. Probably the most amazing part of this is that I’ve actually been able to save. Which is something I’ve never done before.
So, what do freelancers spend money on? Mostly I’ve put my money back into the business. But I think freelancers place more value on experiences, like vacations, pet care, landscaping and gardening, not flashy cars or big houses. We’re more personable, and since we do what we love we don’t really see ourselves retiring. At least not completely. I have planned some small investments, but I can’t imagine a day where I’ll wake up and say to myself “nope, I’m not going to pick up a pencil ever again.”
Instead of giving people power over me I empower them, by providing them tools to further their own dreams. It’s been really rewarding when I find clients who I just click with. It is a bit disappointing when you find a client who doesn’t value the trade, but it’s really a part of this business I’m willing to accept. I’d like to think I touch people’s lives and I give them long lasting assets that grow their brands. At the same time I get to problem solve, compose and dish out a bit of an educational experience for my clients. I always thought I’d be a starving fine artist, and that I’d be doing little ads in my local pennysaver to get by. This, what I’m doing now, is so much more than I ever expected.
