I don’t know what to write about for this blog post but I didn’t want to just not write anything this week. This is supposed to be a place to practice, to somehow discipline myself to do something even if I don’t feel like doing it.
What I really didn’t want to do is write about myself, but I do. All the time. When I talk to clients, when I talk to friends, even strangers, I talk about myself all the time. It's kind of involuntary. Clients want to know what my experience is. And this month marks the 17th year I'll be doing this whole design thing. It's a big accomplishment I suppose. But it's not like anyone is giving me an award for not failing. The fall season brings up a lot of things for me. Memories and just the transitional air of fall brings up a lot of different emotions in me.
Fall brings my birthday. Which I really try to forget to be honest. I’d like to think that more happy things have happened on my birthday, but it’s the negative memories that I seem to remember the most.
I’ve lost people on my birthday, in death and in painful breakups. I’ve done a really good job at distancing myself from people. Maybe just that will lessen their loss. Since they were never mine in the first place. When we lose touch or they fall away from contact with me, it seems like no loss at all.
Fall is the beginning of my hibernation. Since I can work from anywhere, I often chose to work from home where I can watch the rain and the snow come down. I usually only travel when work merits it, but I know I really do need to make the effort to travel more just for fun.
At this very moment I am honestly content. What does happy even mean? Right now I’m comfortable. I have a soft bed, I’ve been doing the things I like to do, and I make art everyday. Whether it be logo design, writing an article for a client, cooking a meal, even just doodling; making things makes me feel like I’m doing something with my life. I guess that’s more than most people even hope for.
